The importance of friends in recovery

“So, no one told you life was going to be this way. Your jobs a joke you’re broke your love life’s DOA. I’ll be there for you, ’cause you’re there for me too. “

That is what we want in life, isn’t it? We all want friends who are as much there for us as we are for them. I do not think I am overstating the importance of good friends to a happy life. Friends are not only important to our social well-being, but friendships can also be the one thing that gets us through some of life’s most challenging and dramatic moments.

But did you know that friends can also help to shape our choices and our lives?

Turns out that what our friends think and do has a significant impact on how we think and what we do in turn. If your friends quit smoking and you are a smoker, odds are high that you will also quit. If your friends like a particular food, sport, band, or style then you may well find your interests shifting to match theirs and vice versa.

As we go through our lives some friends will leave our circle, some return others are off on their own journeys and paths, and we might not see them again. Sometimes we find we must limit or cut off friendships we have formed because as we grow and learn about ourselves, we discover that a friendship has simply run its course.

We all want friends that are supportive of us, this can be especially important for someone who has made the choice to get clean and sober, we may well feel we need that support when we are about to make some major life-altering changes! Some people, particularly those who are seeking to change a bad habit or leave an addiction might have to change friend groups entirely, to decrease exposure to a lifestyle or dependency that they must let go of.

People in recovery may discover that people whom they counted as friends were adjuncts to their addiction. People who want you to remain trapped in the cycle of addiction with them. And this begs us to ask ourselves the question. Were they REALLY friends, or partners in sorrow and pain? We might learn that those people cannot be part of our lives anymore. And truly that is OK because recovery gives us the opportunity to meet new people, form new bonds and develop new friendships. When we are in recovery, we need all the support we can get, both while we are in rehab and long after.

At Searidge we keep our intake small, only having 12 residents at a time, and we like that dynamic. Group therapy sessions composed of 12 people or less allow our residents to really connect, on a personal level, to frankly speak the truth, and to learn how to listen to others. When you are in a smaller group people find, they are speaking TO each other not AT each other. And this is where real change finds room to grow, in a nurturing environment.

Sure, we all have our old stories but when we are renewing ourselves, we are also allowing ourselves to rediscover our beauty, and tell our new stories. Residents at Searidge tell us that these smaller groups allow them to find new joy, rediscover their strength and develop bonds that carry them forward. During your stay, you will make friends who want you to become the best you that you can be.

For some people, this might be the first time in their lives that they are held accountable and asked to show up for themselves. Friendships forged in the fires of adversity can be the strongest and most liberating because they really have been where you were, they can relate to what you have been through, and most importantly they are there with you in the joy of becoming clean, sober, and whole again. After all, they are becoming just like you are.

Another aspect of a successful long-term recovery is ensuring that we maintain those relationships far into our futures, that is why Searidge offers an industry-leading approach to long-term recovery support in their Aftercare program. Alumni will find themselves able to stay connected to the people, friendships, and commitments made long after they leave the centre. Alumni meet online, and in person, and Searidge also arranges special sober celebration weekend events, where our graduates can reconnect and share the stories of their journey on the path of recovery!

The friendships formed in recovery will be honest, supportive, and truly compassionate and will help you to maintain truer commitments to yourself. When we learn to open our eyes and hearts and speak our truths, in a supportive, compassionate environment, then we learn to really be there for another person, because we have learned to be there for ourselves.